Chorus of Frogs Trigger some stuff

Date: 4/8/2025
Type: Unknown
Location: Los Angeles, CA, 90023
Time of Incidents: 3:30am
Attempted Time of Sleep: 3:30am
State of Mind Before: Me (Tired, Depressed), Wolfbrother (Agitated)
State of Mind After: Me (Depressed, Tired, Apathetic), Wolfbrother (Happy), Aunt (N/A)
Odd occurrences before: None
Odd occurrences after: Noises in adjacent location

I was supposed to go today for some car maintenance, however my Wolfbrother kept me up all night. Hw refused to go to sleep despite the numerous mentions that I need to get the car looked at....and I am planning to go on this date. He finally decided to settle down around 2:30am and then wanted food. By 3:15am I had to call it quits as I had to be up by 7:00am. My mental state is not well as he is wearing me down both physically and mentally. My physical health has been impacted by his constant smoking. He is aware I am not doing well, but refuse to quit or lessen his usage as it is a "me problem" and I have to do better. 

As expected I had to retreat to the second location (his emotional abuse gets to me more as I am having trouble breathing...right now he did it again... on how he hates me and hates being here.....but I am only the best alternative for right now). I don't like being in there since it isolate me from the rest of the house. At first "they" were confused as to where I was....but they know I am there. Most of the time I have no thought about them and I am ok...... but when they have found me.... it wasn't pleasant. I am not sure if I am accurately put to pen the incidents since my wolfbrother is eroding things or it is their doing or I am trying to safe guard my own sanity (*&*).

So reason why I am reporting. As I go to sleep I often use some ambiance to help sleep....from oceans waves, rain, crickets, bubbles, etc. Not only does this relax me, but helps my Wolfbrother too. Last night though I tried to use frogs by a stream, something I have not used in years. It is soothing....but I had a horrible reaction. As soon as I tried to lay down... images of "them" came to my head... and the strong feeling of "we are coming". Then the odd noises in other areas of the adjacent location had a few weird noises. Immediately I started imagining a barred door and a wind to scour the area and block entry. I turned off that frog sound as it was freaking me out. I couldn't go to sleep and was having a minor (by my level) anxiety attack. At this point I could not sleep. Finally I felt some what safe around 5:20am and physically knocked out. Sadly my attempts comfort myself were sabotaged by "their" previous intrusions.

(*&*): Since February there having been secondary scenarios that started to run as dreams...basically it was stuff with unrequited love finally be returned by certain characters from my path. I was confused in these dreams, as I knew these weren't real and do not know why these were coming up. However, I went along with them because it felt nice. I knew it was "them", but really didn't care as I hurt soooooo much. I figured out it was them after the second such scenario as I was getting secondary audio commenting on the situation, my response, and how detailed things were getting. After a week it switched... to were I was told and experienced the complete opposite.... on how I was worthless, unwanted, despised, sickened, a disappointment, a disgusting creature, not even a real man, an aberration to humanity, that no one their right mind would want to be with, someone who deserves to be unloved, that I am nothing, that I am sick, I have no redeeming value, and if people are kind to me it is only because I am a sap with no self-esteem who is willing let other use him for the least amount of acknowledgement, that is how pathetic of a specimen that I am. 

At first I was confused. I have heard worse. Yet they kept representing anyone who showed me any kindness...."reveal" the truth. I am trying not to let it affect me and just remain apathetic. If I can't feel I can't get hurt....they stopped as I became unresponsive to "their" insults. However for now there  negativity echoes....I do not know if it is a way to continue to isolate me or they just decided to go here? 

I am not doing well. I can function though despite this. However they are right..... as long as they are involved in my life I am a hazard to others. I am already aware of this. I wonder if they are trying to push me to certain eventualities that are planned?   

Short Visit before the 50

 

Date: 2/13/2025
Type: CE4
Location: Los Angeles, CA, 90023
Time of Incidents: 12:30am
Attempted Time of Sleep: 11:30pm
State of Mind Before: Me (Tired, Depressed), Wolfbrother (Upset)
State of Mind After: Me (Depressed, Apathetic), Wolfbrother (Upset), Aunt (N/A)
Odd occurrences before: None
Odd occurrences after: Loud Thud on Floor of Garage

When Wolfbrother's father visits it is usually time for me to retreat to other room for rest. As mentioned to him, I don't want to be isolated this month as it is my 50th. As it is I am showing my symptoms of my depression, usually this does manifest as hard. I do not have anxiety that they may show up....but personally I don't feel well mentally or physically.

As for Wednesday, I went to the room and watched some stuff on youtube to try and elevate my mood. Around 11:30pm, I got myself in bedding and lay down. I know I was mentally and physically exhausted, but I was unusually fast tracked to knock out (it take me an hour or so to ease my mind and feel comfortable to sleep). The next thing I am in a white fluffy room, almost like felt. There was ambient lighting, nothing stood out except for this felt room. There was a conversation going on, not vocal, but "their voices". 

"Is he relaxed?".... "Seems this is not causing any hostile reactions. Proceed"..... from there an appendage stretched out... cotton and felt like... that began to caress my cheek and mouth. "Is he responding? I hope is is somewhat aware".... "That is it. Something you like. Something you want. You deserve to be loved"... the appendage is being a bit more forceful and I am becoming angry... "He loves you doesn't he? Wait. He loves you doesn't he? Why are you angry? He loves you doesn't he?" ... I start to breathe hard in rapid succession trying to get out of this....."Why is he there then? Why do you care? You make no sense. Nobody loves you? Why are you hurt? So much pain. So much sadness".... they let me go.

This situation was about 5 minutes or so.... it could have been longer but as soon as I was aware and triggered I did everything to get "ejected". I noticed despite being bundle up and warm, there was a specific cold spot on my left shoulder and chest, as well as where the appendage was stroking me along my face. I lay there angry.... I hate when they bring up relationship stuff.... and begin examining my personal "feelings". They don't get why I am this way nor why I feel certain things about situations and people. As I lay there for about 15 minutes, behind the wall in the garage there was a thud.... one that sounded like a very heavy iron ball falling on the ground. That made no sense as the garage is locked, no one was in there, and there is no such items that would make such a sound. The neighbor was asleep and they did not cause the sound from their dwelling. In the morning I checked the garage and there wasn't anything out of place. What concerned me was the odd sound was right behind the wall where I was sleeping necx too.