Odd Event/Reflections

Date: March 24th, 2013
Type: CE5
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Time of Incidents: 7pm-8pm
Attempted Time of Sleep: 4pm (Me)
State of Mind Before: Stressed "No Job", Anxious "Issue with Friends"
State of Mind After: Calm-Passive, Subdued (Me)
Odd occurrences before: "Out of It", "Flashes of them talking"
Odd occurrences after: None
Possible Influential Factors: Previous Encounter 3/2/13, Birthday

I was hoping to avoid things again. As you may have read from 3/2/13 entry, it was an extremely stressful event. Although I am done my best to keep calm, it has rattled me. I thank the support of a person I could reach out too that helped out, he helped me keep it together since he has experiences too. It helped to focus outward.

The reality though I am scarred and very afraid. I have managed to keep things as normal as possible and maintain some sense of order to fend off anxiety and stress. Currently I am dealing with heavy issues of unemployment and familial care with not assistance from the government or other outsides sources. Thank to my conservative and pragmatic approach I have managed to maintain our struggle to survival and keep thing normal as long as possible. However, these visitations are damaging efforts to keep or improve things.
My sleeping patterns are reversed because I am terrified of going to sleep, I get about 4 hours of sleep per day and some catnaps when I can. When I do sleep I make sure to be as proactive as possible, making sure I have protection. I am worried of what may happen to my aunt too, so I have to be mindful of her since she is most vulnerable.Whats worse is I know they have been around, but since I am active... they are not doing anything but making aware of there presence.... knowing that they are watching. Recently one of the days I dread came to pass, my birthday. Birthdays to me are not the best of times since they are reminders of how alone I am... no family.. no one close..... society reminding me that there is something fundamentally wrong with me because I do not fit the social norm of "birthday". I am grateful that one of the people who care about me has been here, they happened to be doing their taxes.....and were physically here.
Sometimes when extra people are here they won't interfere....they will just watch... which is what they did.

Which bring to mind....why a I hearing them? I am not hearing voices as one one think, but since 3/2/13 they been monitoring. I been getting flashes of them.... letting me know t"hey are around", "why am I not asleep", "why is someone there", "you should go to sleep", "go to the door", and "don't look". This has not been constant....but at odd time during the night. I am not even thinking about them and it pops in. It has not been pleasant.

So to the odd event. My guest who spent the last couple of days with me finally went home this afternoon. Oddly enough I felt groggy and out of it the whole day...even though I got enough rest. I assumed that because of the odd sleeping patterns it was just my body feeling tired. However there were the flash of them expressing "you should go to sleep". I was doing my best to fight it off. Yet since my guest was here I gave in to it around 4pm. Around 5pm my guest woke me up and said he was going home, I felt groggy but in 5 min got up as normal walked him out and locked the door. I was fully alert and intending to watch "The Walking Dead from 5pm-7pm. However as soon as I got back in the room, the urge to "Go to sleep" with the same flashes happened. I was waking up periodically because I did not want to sleep and was IMing my ex-. At this point I been not considering these flashes as anything but my anxiety. I woke up at 6:57pm  upset that I kept falling to sleep and made a conscious effort to get up. I IM'd my ex and then set myself back on the bed ready to get up. That is when the strings were pulled.

I was in bed, I made the mistake of rolling over for abit. Something hit me cold in the back, it wasn't physical but a sensation of coldness. I was told to "sleep", but I was resisting and scarred. Next it was expressed to me "He's gone. Your alone. Now we begin". At this point I felt a physical touch on my lower back, again cold, and touch as in "hand". The base of my neck was also grabbed and held in place. Then something was touching the back of my neck which caused an electrical tingling sensation within the lower back part of me head. I was crying at attempted to move. Only thing I could do was wiggle my foot and my right thumb and forefinger. Since I was by the edge of the bed, I attempted to rock and fall out, but they held me. During this time I also heard a CB/radio chatter too which was the oddest part. As if whatever was doing this was in communication with someone else. The radio/cb chatter was not English...but it was some sort of communication.

Around 7:30pm I "awoke". I felt groggy and the tingling sensation was still there, I got up my may way to the computer and IM'd my ex. Then I went back to bed and cried myself back to sleep Woke up at 9:37pm...IM'd my  ex and did the same thing.... just cried and fell back to sleep. Around 10:48pm. I finally got up, I was no longer sad or happy... just felt passive and subdued. However, I made it a point to look something up, for some reason the back of my head was stimulated by those shocks. What ever was going one they were accessing or attempting to do something to the brain. The Cerebellum and the Occipital Lobe was were I felt the sensation. The occipital lobe function is visual and color recognition, damage to the lobe can cause blindness and hallucinations. While the cerebellum control motor functions. Oddly enough this is the physical area of the brain were some skeptic believe that "abductees" have suffered brain damage and thus have a terrestrial reason for seeing aliens and being paralyzed...... however I do not think this was the case.... as in the diagram below also shows our cognitive uses as well...was I being manipulated in the sense of perceptual reasoning? Were my instincts, experiences, and knowledge being accessed?