Type: CE4/CE5
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Time of Incidents: 2:30am (6/15) and 3:45am (6/16)
Attempted Time of Sleep: 1:00am (Me)/1:00am (Aunt)/1:30am (guest) "average"
State of Mind Before: Stressed, Tired (Me)/Sad, Pain (Aunt)/Stressed(Guest)
State of Mind After: Depressed, Stressed, Tired (Me)/Sad, Scared (Aunt)/Stressed (Guest)
Odd occurrences before: 6/15 vertigo episode...abduction on 5/31.
Odd occurrences after: None.
Possible Influential Factors: None.
6/15 "Monday Night"
I went to bed early around 1:00 am after giving my aunt her meds. I feel asleep quickly. I felt a little dread, but ignored it as I am physically and mentally exhausted. Around 2:15am I awoke and was expeirncing "vertigo-like" symptoms, audio and visual input seemed very unsteady as I was sleeping and not moving. There was a definate weird hum, as the oscillating noise was conflicting with the fan.
My guest was up and in the kitchen playing on the PC.
With a few minutes the vertigo like feeling subsided... it felt like I was being pulled/transitioned away... but something went wrong. My guest did not notice anything unusual. I though this was very odd...and I was really tired I went back to sleep.
6/16 "Tuesday Morning"
The following day starts the same. Wake up take care of her, wake up to her screaming in pain, cleaning and feeding, hear her scream, and make my way through traffic to find some peace at work. Through traffic come home, dealing with more screaming, clean and feed, maintain the house, deal with more screaming, clean her again, deal with more screaming as I put her to bed....... the doctor says only thing he can do is pain management... and I have to deal with the medication symptoms.... it is supposed to get better....
Tonite after putting her to bed I go out for some cool air and peace to put gas. It is past 1:00am. 15 minutes away calms me down. I return home my guest is playing the PC and we both go to be around 1:30pm. I begin to fall asleep.... I feel the same dread.... this time... the familiar "here" is communicated. Exhausted I just think "Go away...I can't deal with this right now" and fall asleep.
I awake in a fetile position laying on my right side. I am not covered by anything. I was not in my room. The surface was cold and felt like a hard rubbery stone. It was not a ceramic surface...not metal. The light was more of a silver light. I was being asked a series of questions from "stating my name" to "what I do". They were sifting through my memories during the process. From the feedback I "felt" there was one grey.. and a "hybrid". I was being uncooperative and answered by "Harry Potter" and "Wizarding World Champion". I was blocking whatever mind scan they were trying to do. I believe the grey was instructing the hybrid on mental communication... as it was only me to vocally respond. Throughout the integration the hybrid has a small flashlight and was pointing it at my face. I am not sure it was a flashlight, but it was cylindrical and he would point it at my face. It may have been something else as well., mostly like part of some scanning system. During this time I managed to free my left arm and started flailing at them... instinctively going for my weapon...which was not present as I was where they took me. The hybrid communicated "how was this possible". The grey didn't answer, but shined the light back in my face and my arm fell still. At this time I felt the hybrid approach close and lay its head close to mine as it leaned over. It was attempting to comfort me, as you would an animal on a table. Being very gentle. The skin felt like a loose and taught like a newborn, there was light fine soft hair on the head... not a full head of hair.. but like long wispy peach fuzz. It was surprised how warm I was. As it pressed its head to my head, it communicated "I can hear him more clearly now." It was sifting through my memories. They still let me talk. Panicking I said something in an other language, not any recognizable human language... but the hybrid jumped back. The grey communicated "Careful. This one learns". It was something I "sifted" from him. It suddenly got very very cold and dark.
I was put back in my bed. I was going in and out of it...but I was getting feedback. I could see that I was being moved through a corridor. Whoever I was getting the feedback from walked away from where I was being sent. It walked into a room where there was a central pillar of lights. Various panels showed information in an unknown but familiar fonts. As I was being put back the image was fading... but I kept focusing. Ironically before I woke up back in my room "It communicated. Leave". I was stiff and very cold. It took me a few moments to be able to move. I checked the time... made a mental note and cried myself too sleep. within a few hours I would need to wake up to my daily routine again.
 |
| Something like that but cylindrical pillar. PC "Window" sections. |
Personal Note
Major Stress Issue: As you know for the past year my aunt's health has declined. The past few weeks now has been bad. I am getting a minimal time of sleep. I am not thinking about them. Mentally I am stressed over caring for her as it has become really difficult. It is now causing a major impact with work (from my point of view). That is setting off another stress issue. In turn that is causing more stress since it is affecting the income now. As it is I have to pretend to be okay, to function and go on. In life there is no safety nets.... and in the end I walk alone. I just have to remember not to want happiness and that will get me through. It is messed up but I need to purge my emotional well being and try to be apathetic and compartmentalize to go on.
I am taking steps to distract myself when I can. Brief periods of trying to socialize with my nephew and nieces, but I am gravitating back to more isolated pursuits... I feel really uncomfortable around people and just wanna be safe some place in the cold dark and be left alone.
No comments:
Post a Comment