It wasn't who I thought it Was in the Kitchen....

Date: 7/13/2015
Type: CE4
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Time of Incidents: 3:45am - 4:00am
Attempted Time of Sleep: 1:00am (Me)/1:00am (Aunt)/1:45am (guest)
State of Mind Before: Stressed, Tired (Me)/Sad, Pain (Aunt)/Stressed(Guest)
State of Mind After: Tired (Me)/Sad, Scared (Aunt)/ N/A (Guest)
Odd occurrences before: Unknown Discussion 7/10.
Odd occurrences after: Dog afraid.
Possible Influential Factors: Filming a "Project", Attended CERO Convention.

Overall the last two week have been active and stressful. I have done my best to balance work and  my aunt's condition. This pass fortnight, I been involved meeting individuals for a "project". I spent a couple days meet and greet and "being a good sport" as it was said. It was an experience.
The other eventful thing I did was attend an open/public CERO convention. It was a cost of $23 dollars, which I feel as a loss. It wasn't what I was looking for, but I will comment on that in a later blog.

Last night I prepared to take my aunt to her appointment. She was already nervous, as we expected
the doctor to indicate that no improvement would be made and no alternatives. I was physically tired, and my guest was recovering from his cold. I need to keep my mouth shut and emotions in check, and remember my "place"  There is some emotional stuff going on with me, and I do feel really alone and trapped by circumstance. I am not co-dependent, however I would like to have had someone I can share my life with.
I am not jealous, but it hard to see all the happy couple celebrating gay marriage.... and I am alone. So that is a burning fuse that I need to address, but there are greater things to worry about.

Around 3:45am I woke up to the sound of my doggy whimpering. It was unusual because he either barks or talks/growls. He seemed afraid. I heard the sound of someone walking in the kitchen and moving and picking things up on the table. I thought perhaps my guest was going for his phone/wallet/keys. I was really tired and as I said, my heart was hurting. I just embraced sleep since I would need to get up soon. I did have a feeling that something was amiss early and had trouble sleeping. Yet, physically I fell asleep due to physical exhaustion.

In the morning my aunt mentioned she had called me, Around 6:00am my guest helped her and put her legs back on the bed. I thought this unusual since she CAN'T move without assistance. She also said she was having nightmares, but wouldn't go into it. She did say they weren't really nightmares since she was awake. She kept hearing thing in the kitchen, and the doggy crying. She indicated the same time I heard this as well.
I told her I thought it my guest, and she seemed comforted. However when I thanked and asked him, he says he did this at 6am and the sun was already up.There were no lights. Just someone moving things around.

Update: I am unable to function and take care of my aunt at the sametime. I am burning out. In addition she needs more care. Due to this reason I have to quit my current position and find another means to support myself and her. I had a feeling this would happened. If only things had worked out with "The Promised One". That has left a wound, among the other that will not heal. I am aware, but as with all things now... it is just becoming numb. I am aware, but apathy is winning. I can function and go through the motions to get through the day, but emotionally I feel already gone. I just have to face what life throws at me, and do my best. As they say "The South shall Rise Again".