Where I stand: ID, Ego and Super-Ego

As we know the Greys and MK Ultra mess with your head. In Freudian models that means that one or more areas are manipulated, either your Superego or Id.

 If you have been programmed and groomed, then then mostly likely your Superego has been tampered with.You have learned certain things which will cause your behaviors and common sense to be overridden.
It is highly irrational and will fight against the ID, going upon extremes of what is has learned "programmed" to do.

ID is driven by impulse, on what feels good and what is needed. You can be manipulated by ID, by fulfilling starved qualities or inducing flight or fight. Things become instinctual at the point, everything is in the now and needs to be done because of the natural/primal urge .

Now you Ego is your conscious everyday self that normal operates as managing mechanism which allows you to blend impulse needs with logic. However, the system can be high-jacked if ID or Super-ego becomes more dominant.

For myself.... I know I am broken and mainly operate on Superego. I am pragmatic which means I still have an ego, but it just takes info in and the Supergo manages. Superego is developed through negative re-inforcement, striving for perfection..... which resonates with the theme I have been told "I am never good enough". I am extreme, either I won't or I will, and regardless of some things I am driven to make a decision work.

My Id somewhere along the line is damaged. I don't really have pleasure. The desires are there but are blocked by the Superego. I am greatly aware of every single urge I have, but it is all caged away.  Nothing really matter, death for me is a transition and do seek oblivion. It is not regulated properly and is severely out of balance. Things are done because they are right or wrong... not because I want to. What is worse I am not aware of these discrepancies until they are pointed out. When they are done, I attempt to fix the situation, but due to the fact that the ego is diminished the only solutions are multiple scenarios of "Yes/No". Somewhere though I learned that that there is always a third option.... "Do Nothing" as apathy is my friend.