Reporting in for the Week

Date: September 17, 2017
Type: Dream, CE4
Location: Los Angeles, CA, 90023
Time of Incidents: 1:30 am, 2:30am, 3:30am, 4:30am, 5:30am 
Attempted Time of Sleep: 12:30am (Me)
State of Mind Before: Depressed, Withdrawn (Me)
State of Mind After: Very Depressed, Very Withdrawn (Me)
Odd occurrences before: Insomnia, Kidney Issues
Odd occurrences after: Withdrawn, Confusion, Lonely, Emotionally distraught, Violence

The past week has been up and downs. We have had to major household issues, well three, which is super stressful. My Insomnia has been in full swing and I am fighting my depression off as much as possible by feeding my OCD archiving issue. It is bad....

Since I last reported, my dreams have had a few violent spikes. My grandmother shows up and tries to make me reconcile with an "evil" aunt. This malign relative is truly a reprehensible individual, one who has done many things to me personal throughout my life. Because of her, I have decided not to join my blood relative in the afterlife, why ruin their happiness with my discord. Each time I am introduced to her, I have violently attacked her. It is a natural an instinctive response to her mere introduction to a scenario.
The odd things is despite my swift and violent response to her presence, everyone seems analytical and clinical. Very detached that I brutally and excessively took out my repressed rage on her. Even I am taken aback by the response, asking myself "Why did I go so far. Quick and efficient". Even there is commentary and discussion afterward with "them" on what occurred.....

This has somewhat spilled on over to the real world. My patience with the stupidity of humanity is thin. I try to take the high ground and be tolerant, but a strong part of me is "Stand up and do the right thing. Damn tolerance, justice is all that matters". Compassion is gone out the window....and I honestly stop and think "What would my Wolfbrother do?"....and that sets off an entire other chain of stuff. I do not want to leave my room, I don't want to talk to people.....I just want to die. I feel so lost and empty... and truly lost...I have no one and have to fight alone. I will die alone if I am allowed too...but like my aunt...we both feel that we are not going to be allowed an escape.

Previously I kept waking up, and when I try to sleep....I keep waking up. Sometime there is synaptic shocks, but I am uneasy. Something is around...and my first thoughts go to my Wolfbrother. However, they have been around. They have been outside and in the house. My aunt has seen them pop in an out.