I know there are good people out there. Those that have been kind are far away, and I do appreciate their care and concern. I do not forget that, yet it is distant starlight. Around me though there is nothing but absolute emptiness, only what I have to fill a void. As many you know over the past months I have been struggling with a situation, which has lead to other situations. I have tried to be analytical, I have tried to be patient, I have tried to be understanding, however in the end I realize I am alone. Even when I try to reach out, I grasp at clouds. Those who I thought were allies are illusions, the one person I thought who was real just used me for their own gain and accord. I am accused and made a scapegoat of their own delusions.
What succor I tried to find was also an illusion, there is no rest, no warmth, no comfort. I did my best, that all I can do. Yet in itself that has not been enough. I am done dealing with humanity. I no longer trust anyone, no will let my heart be open. If I am to be alone, then I shall survive and thrive in the darkness without anyone.
I cannot trust anyone, so what is the point. I should just concentrate on my obligations and care not for the world. It is truly over, I heart cannot bleed if there is no blood left to pump through, you cannot be cold if there is no warmth. I only have myself and what I am expected to do.
asas
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