Date: May 23rd, 2013
Type:Unknown
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Time of Incidents: 3:25am-5:35am
Attempted Time of Sleep: 1:30am (Me)/12:00am (Aunt)
State of Mind Before: Sad, Depressed (Me)/Sad, Lonely, Depressed (Aunt)
State of Mind After: Befuddled, Apathetic, Deleterious (Me)/Scared (Aunt)
Odd occurrences before: 5-22-13 was told they'll be back, orbs (Me)
Odd occurrences after: None.
Possible Influential Factors: Blog postings?
As many know I have Insomnia, and it is cheaper me to be active at night since I am still unemployed. I been keeping myself active by reading and taking care of things. My personal experiences stopped for a few weeks, which I was glad of. I am still dealing with issues here, trying to keep things together.
Yesterday (5-22-13) night while I was washing the dishes around 11pm I was communicated "We are coming back". The message just popped in my head. I stopped, listened, and looked around. My thoughts were "why", "no", "go away", and "I must be going crazy". I continued with my nightly chores and tried to relax by watching Season 4 of True Blood. During the entire I felt sleepy. I felt uninterested in doing my usual activities. Yet I forced myself to stay up. Throughout the night there were small pin point of light showing up in corners of the room and random places every once in awhile. I dismissed these because I assumed this was eye strain. I did not fall asleep till 7:30am.
I woke up early around 2pm, did my chores and had a normal day. Around 11pm I felt sleepy all of a sudden. I put my aunt to bed.... and tried to stay awake. Sadly I finally gave in..... and tried to sleep around 1am. As I was laying there I had my weapons in hand. I know that the sensation of being tired was not my doing...... again the small light showed up as I was drifting off. Every time they popped up though I resisted sleep further. I woke up around 3:25am felt groggy the small light popped up, within a minute or so I knocked out again. I woke up again at 4:01 am. This time my left arm at the wrist, my left ankle, and my left eye were in discomfort. My wrist felt bruised as if I was struck or clasped down. The same feeling was with my ankle. My left eye was very dry and had trouble opening it. I managed to get up and look at the clock barely, there was a humming sound all around me, coming from up above and from the windows. Again I knocked out.
My aunt in her room awoke around 3:52 am to a loud yet low humming. She started praying and then tried to read her book to ignore the sound. It lasted until around 4:30am. She did not see any lights. Yet the loud hum bothered her. She did not sleep for the rest of the night.
I again woke up 5:35am, I felt weak and sick. My arm and ankle still felt sore. I managed to get out of bed since I did not see the hum. I made my way to the bathroom, washed my face, flushed my eye, and stood by the sink for a few minutes. Then I went back to bed. I didn't wake up until 4:30pm. My left eye is bothering me, as it feels dry still and have been tearing out of that eye. I do not feel groggy at all or sick anymore. I talked with my aunt and she mentioned he hum to me around this time.
During this episode I was "dreaming" as well. Reliving memories...dreams to me are nightmares... reliving memories of the people in my life is not healthy for me. In these dreams it was about me taking care of the dogs we had, spending time with my grandmother's senior citizen group, my difficulty in making close friendships, me being chosen to leave soon as an "angel", dealing with my mom at the hospital, dealing with me be abandoned by everyone after they are done with me. Although these dreams made me feel extremely sad... I know they are just mental situations. Through it all I was aware they were not real and kept getting coaxed to respond as if it was real. That bothers me more.... I am aware of what was going on.
Between this physical episode and mental intrusion it taken a toll on me today. I am holding up as best as possible. However, I feel very bad internally right now.
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