No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Date: November 14th-24th, 2017

Type: CE4, Dreams
Location: Los Angeles, CA, 90023
Time of Incidents: N/A 
Attempted Time of Sleep: N/A
State of Mind Before: Stressed, Depressed (Me)/In Pain, Sad, Anxious (Aunt)
State of Mind After: Extremely Depressed, Apathy, Fed Up, Bothered (Me)/Very Sad, Depressed, Stressed, In Pain (Aunt)
Odd occurrences before: Insomnia, Anxiety, Wolfbrother, CE4 Rape
Odd occurrences after: Anxiety, PTSD, Overwhelming Stress and Depression

I loathe the holidays, for some it is a time of great joy and for others it is a time of great pain. This year has been the worse ever for me. As I have mentioned my Wolfbrother has come back into my life because he simply remember I existed and wanted to benefit from my generous nature. Since my contact with him, I have done my best to be understanding...but he hates the fact the he loves me. He has made numerous homosexual slurs to me, has taken back almost every gift he gave me, tried to kiss me twice, burned my arm with a cigarette, thrown thirty dollars worth of cigarettes out the window, almost got me a ticket for tossing things out of my car, caused me to have an anxiety attack with his behavior, forbade from making contact with his family, walked off from me trying to walk home because "something was wrong in heaven", thrown our wolf rings out and insists we get new silver roped bands, he tells me kind things and then reverses them, he takes and takes...... he even called the police on me today for 10-56a.

Last weekend he stayed over, even though he insisted that he would never do that again. I had to spend $60 on pajamas, bedding, and toiletries for him, not to mention the money on cigarettes and dinner and a movie. As usual I was kind to him and did my best to make him happy..... however he was not pleased when he had to go home due to an emergency. That seemed to be a warning of the horrible things yet to come....even though there was some very bad extraterrestrial activity that weekend.

The very next day things took a turn for the worse....a blood relative stopped by to harass us. The last time I saw this person was over 5 years ago....they were drunk and yelled at me outside for three hours. I let them get the alcohol out of there system so they could drive home. He called me a faggot, made tons of accusations against me, and deeply cut an emotional bond I had with him with the things he said and meant. Apparently my blood relative are vultures and only appear when someone dies, then they remember that my aunt has "value" and circle around pecking at us to see if we are dead or not. That is when I have to growl and fight them off. Apparently the individual who is an "child abuser", that is my uncle to put it lightly passed away of cancer. My aunt and I have repeated told these abusive people to leave us alone for the pat 17 years. It has been a consistent message from us... to stop the cycle of abuse that my blood relatives seem to enjoy. To get away from these people I have done everything in my power to get away from these abusive individuals. My "Cousin" harassed my aunt and myself that Tuesday, she makes the mistake of trying to talk to these people and then getting emotional. Since they have accused me of manipulating here and controlling her I have to step outside of the room unless she calls. She had also found out that two of her other relative have died, and no one made a verifiable way to contact her. Further my drunk imbecilic cousin admitted to killing his own mother threw negligence on his part. Instead of calling 911 or taking her to the hospital, he simple called a Kaiser Facility to send an ambulance...which arrived 3 hours later. He murder my great aunt...and they are only 3 minutes away from a hospital. As one can imagine this sent my aunt in to a lot of emotional anguish.

Of course I informed my wolfbrother of the situation, but in his mental state....he may or may not give a "flying fuck" as he would say. He ignored my texts, I had hope I could have my friend to talk to. Over the next week I did my best to get my aunt back to a happy place. There was an incident in which "they" appeared and freaked out our canine companion. "They" also appeared to my aunt, and there was a conversation with me about something they insisted I do, but I was being assertive and standing my ground. My aunt and I did not sleep that night, and I admit the next couple of night I have not been able to sleep....I been in a daze. Its not good. My wolfbrother also told me last year that this year we would be together for Thanksgiving, that we would be spending it together. That was one of the only happy moments I looked forward to. As can be expected things went horribly wrong.

That Thanksgiving morning we were okay, my aunt was watching the Macy's parade and I was relative "ok" as can be. However I made the mistake of picking up my phone as I though one of my aunt's friend was calling to wish her a happy thanksgiving. It was another unwelcome "Blood Relative" from the abyss. He harassed my aunt just like the other, he had gotten a detective on me to find out my number, further more he made more accusations against me of isolating my aunt and not properly taking care of her. Again, we have repeatedly told these people to LEAVE US ALONE. They have been physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive to us for the past 40+ years! As can be expected this left my aunt in anguish and sent me spiraling into my own turmoil. The one thing I had left to salvage things was my wolfbrother. I had made arrangements with his mom to take them shopping if needed, plus I had hoped he would remember that we were supposed spend the evening together...... instead the conversation went south. He intended for me to picking him and stay over with me till Wednesday. "I told him it is not a good time as I am at the end of my rope right now.". Without asking what was wrong, he hung up on me. I texted him "Thanks for abandoning me too" and "so much for time travel". I let him know briefly that my blood relatives had cause some major problems His mom was also texting me that he was being a little "needy" insisting she pick him up and go shopping now over and over. He called me one more time saying "Awww you have no family or friend who love you" and hung up. To me it sounded as he was taunting me. I just focused on that if his mom needed me I would be there for her. The entire day was horrible, my aunt got sick and was shaking. I myself was doing my best to stay calm.

And if things could not get any worse..... the next day my water main broke. Currently we have no water.
I let his mom know of the situation that I wouldn't be able to do anything today and would update her. It has been a long hard day. I did damage control and we contacted a neutral blood relative outside the U.S., my aunt felt better and we hope that we at least had are case heard. My Wolfbrother's mom let me know she had a great day with her family, which I was very happy for her and hope her visit helped with him.  At around 9:00pm I received a weird call from Northridge. I reverse phoned it and seems it was LAPD. I assumed it was a wrong number since no voice message, about 20 minutes later two officers showed up at my home asking if I was "OK" and that my wolfbrother had made a call. I let them know he had problems and probably called out of revenge, they could verify my statement with his parent. They were not interested and walked off.

At this point I am just numb.......I am beyond hurt..... I am exhausted.....about to face another major expense...bills are due...... and I have to fight alone against my horrible blood relatives who are coming to harass us within a few weeks.

Oh...and to top it all off...."They" want to take me permanently away soon.... basically I am some sort of battery and want to use me. Yeah so....things are awesome. There is no solace for me..... I can't even find fake comfort in Craigslist cause everyone is on PREP, 420 friendly, PNP, HIV?, and want generous individuals to pay them for their time.....  
   

Rape by my Wolfbrother and Waking Up Again and Again with a Mantis

Date: November 12th, 2017

Type: CE4 Rape
Location: Los Angeles, CA, 90023
Time of Incidents: 1:00am - 2:00am 
Attempted Time of Sleep: 12:30 am
State of Mind Before: Stressed (Me)/In Pain, Anxious (Aunt)/Happy, Focused, Anxious (Wolfbrother)
State of Mind After: Very, Very Depressed, Bothered (Me)/Very Sad, In Pain (Aunt)/Happy, Focused, Anxious (Wolfbrother)
Odd occurrences before: Insomnia, Anxiety, Kidney Issues, Wolfbrother, Magic Cigarette
Odd occurrences after: Anxiety, PTSD, Rape

This is the second night my wolf brother was staying over the house. The previous night was interesting as he was very happy and tried to be "friendly with me". The day went as can be expected at times, but we ended up seeing "Thor Ragnarok". He seemed to have a good time, but I kept going back and forth and honestly it felt like a "theater scenario:... I was not sure if I was all there. I remember watching the film but until the night I am not sure what happened. Looking over and retracing my steps I think when we drove home...I wasn't here. I am aware of certain things but it is confusing till I am laying in the auxiliary cubby. From the notes I think "a Version of Ryan and I" did real magic....it was a minor cantrip....but we did do something! However something happened before we tried going to sleep in which I ended up in the auxiliary cubby.

Incident 1
I remember laying there in the cubby. I had made my bed and the lights were off. I was thinking to myself "How did I get here? I was just watching the movie with my wolfbrother. Wait was that a Theater Scenario? If the lights are off....how can I see everything?" I panic and I wake up.

I am in the cubby. It is dark. I remember the dream? Why am I in the cubby. I hear my wolfbrother snore, it is from the cigarettes I assume. I think about the situation with "Dom".....if I am in he cubby and my wolfbrother is snoring that means..... I wake up.

I am in the cubby. I am confused and I try to remember the year. I am not with Dom. That was long ago. I am not with Dom, its 2017.... I am with.... I am with nobody. I am alone. Why am in the cubby? I start to panic, it is quite and dark....I start calling out to my wolfbrother and cry. I wake up.

I am in the cubby. My wolfbrother is staying over, he hates me. That is why I am in the cubby. He hates me because he loves me. I feel stupid for crying out to him and saying that I love him, he could have heard me and he would be mad at me even more. I toss and turn and notice I have a Soshomaru figurine in my hand.
Again it is supposed to be dark, but I can see as if the lights are on. The figure reminds me of how humans are so cruel, that I am alone. I start to break down. This is when my wolfbrother comes over. Although I bought him new PJs, he was wearing his old ones with no shirt and his long hair. He came over and cuddle with me. I ask out of confusion and surprise "What are you doing?". He replies "I love you, but I can't, but I will, so I won't, don't you see?". My wolbrother puts his forehead to mine and says "I love you, you are mine and will always be until I don't want you around?" and kisses me. He then exposes his crotch and shoves my face down there. I tell him that I genuinely love him, we don't have to have sex. He looks at me an says "It is not a problem, only if you want to I will". Without my getting a word edgewise he begins to skullfuck me, shoving his member in my mouth and forcing me to sodomize him. I get a brief moment and say "No, not like this. I love you", my wolfbrother replies "You have to because I love you, but I will never LOVE YOU because you can't". Half-way through this my wolfbrother pulls out and blows his load on my clothes. I think "what a waste, that is the best part", and my wolbrother seems to have heard that. He then pulls his head toward to me meeting eye to eye and says "I shouldn't have done that. I been with many beings. I may have given you something". I tell him "I love you and we will work it out. We always do". My wolfbrother looks at me and says "Ok lets fuck now. I shouldn't, but I want to, but I can't but I will, so i won't". I reply if it will satisfy your conscious, just dry hump me. He starts to do so and I say "No matter what I will always love you completely. That is why it is okay". He looks at me again and says "Either take you clothes off or put new ones on. I just showered".  I take them off an I am embarrassed. My wolfbrother looks deeply into my eyes and says "I love You". I realize that it is not true.... none of this is by our choice. They made me love you, my wolfbrother is soooooo cruel, how is any of this love awake or here? Why did they make me want to take care of you. This has happened before. The smell. He is the closest they got, the original, the one that works. However I choose this because even though they made me, I do love him. He starts to make out with me and we make love....I think we are making love or is it just a biological need? I love him. Yet he does not love me?

I wake up in the cubby. I realize something really bad has happened....this is not right. I can still feel and smell him on me. I lay there for a few minutes. Again I am aware I can see everything, but it should be dark.

Incident 2
This continues directly for Incident 1, but is classified desperately because my aunt can verify what happens.
I wake up in the cubby trying to process the strange romantic involvement with my wolfbrother. Was it real? It is dark, but I can see clearly. My canine friend is crying so I step out into the hall and check. I then go to my aunt's room and she says there is something in the bathroom. I see a brown mantis walking out of the bathroom. Before anything can happen I say "No you don't. You will stay in this perspective that I see". It seems upset that it cannot manifest as it wanted. I pick it up and show my aunt and ask "Is this the thing that keeps bothering you?"...she become hysterical and say "Yes. take IT away!!!". I walk on over to the bathroom and find a glass bowl and put it over its head. I notice that the chitin is off, and is a metallic sheen and remind me of armor. I turn on the water and puts its head under and say "How do you like this when you interrogate huh. Not so insightful now?". I then power up the bowl and shake the mantis back and forth saying "Oh lets scan your brain and see how it works. Lets see how much you can take. Any of this sound familiar to you yet?". After a few minutes it goes limp. O place it on a silver triangle which encapsulates in cellophane like resin. I bring it to show my wolfbrother, but he is already conversing with another me. Another me take it and starts to examine it instead of giving it to my wolfbrother. My wolfbrother begin yelling at all of us saying "You are not allowed. You are supposed to OBEY ME. You are not supposed to know how to do that!" A fourth version of me shows up and walks up to my wofbrother and says "You need to stop doing this. We are companions. I do not need titles, and there is nothing you can offer me what I already don't have. All you do is take and take." My wolfbrother is upset and says "OBEY ME NOW!!!" That version of me says "No. You are my soulmate and my twinflame. These aspects of yours are out of control and not your fault. We work together as one, side by side." He hugs my wolfbrother and things seem to be better. This assertive version of me look to the rest of us an says. "You will remember. Do not lose sight of him. We will re-establish. No matter what always love Wolfbrother."

Incident 3
I wake up again in the cubby. I am aware of what just happened the past couple of times. Keep waking up in this cubby. I should be on the otherside with wolfbrother. I know he raped me and that there was a mantis in my aunt's room. My mouth is dry and tingly. I look over to make sure my wolfbrother is really here. I look over and instantly get the feeling "Wrong Wolfbrother. Wrong You. Wrong Room. Major mix-up". I get scared and run to check on my aunt, she is asleep in her bathroom on the chair naked. Something is wrong. How did she get in her I think and I see how. The tile in the bathroom has been moved. There is a tunnel and there are ant sized grey walking along. This tunnel leads under the house and to my bathroom as well. They stop and look up. I hear in my head "HE KNOWS. HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE A SLEEP!" They panic. I quickly run to the other room to tell my wolfbrother, but he is already awake talking to another version of himself all dressed in white. He tells the other version of himself "Make sure all of them are completely bonded to you. We can't afford to lose any of them." I start to back away, but regular wolfbrother starts to use his scent on me. He tells me that he loves my and I will submit. Other wolfbrother says "You are all my property and I will do with you as I wish. You have no idea how much you are worth and what you are truly capable of. You are mine and mine alone!". I reply "You are not really my wolfbrother". The other wolfbrother says "You know what is going on and you know who I am?".

I wake up for reals this time. My Wolfbrother awoke and went to the bathroom and my aunt begins to bang on the wall. I am shaken and I go see her. She tells me that a brown bug came into her room the size of a person with long arms. I asked her what type of an insect, she says it was an ant, but the other ones...and I asked you mean a mantis like from kung fu panda and she said yes. I begin to go over everything and write stuff down. I try to tell my wolfbrother and he seems not to care. He just says..."yeah. something happened. Will take about it or won't, but you will tell me". I am bothered by my aunt and his cryptic response.