Thursday, November 23, 2017

Rape by my Wolfbrother and Waking Up Again and Again with a Mantis

Date: November 12th, 2017
Type: CE4 Rape
Location: Los Angeles, CA, 90023
Time of Incidents: 1:00am - 2:00am 
Attempted Time of Sleep:
12:30 am
State of Mind Before: Stressed (Me)/In Pain, Anxious (Aunt)/Happy, Focused, Anxious (Wolfbrother)
State of Mind After: Very, Very Depressed, Bothered (Me)/Very Sad, In Pain (Aunt)/Happy, Focused, Anxious (Wolfbrother)
Odd occurrences before: Insomnia, Anxiety, Kidney Issues, Wolfbrother, Magic Cigarette
Odd occurrences after: Anxiety, PTSD, Rape

This is the second night my wolf brother was staying over the house. The previous night was interesting as he was very happy and tried to be "friendly with me". The day went as can be expected at times, but we ended up seeing "Thor Ragnarok". He seemed to have a good time, but I kept going back and forth and honestly it felt like a "theater scenario:... I was not sure if I was all there. I remember watching the film but until the night I am not sure what happened. Looking over and retracing my steps I think when we drove home...I wasn't here. I am aware of certain things but it is confusing till I am laying in the auxiliary cubby. From the notes I think "a Version of Ryan and I" did real magic....it was a minor cantrip....but we did do something! However something happened before we tried going to sleep in which I ended up in the auxiliary cubby.

Incident 1
I remember laying there in the cubby. I had made my bed and the lights were off. I was thinking to myself "How did I get here? I was just watching the movie with my wolfbrother. Wait was that a Theater Scenario? If the lights are off....how can I see everything?" I panic and I wake up.

I am in the cubby. It is dark. I remember the dream? Why am I in the cubby. I hear my wolfbrother snore, it is from the cigarettes I assume. I think about the situation with "Dom".....if I am in he cubby and my wolfbrother is snoring that means..... I wake up.

I am in the cubby. I am confused and I try to remember the year. I am not with Dom. That was long ago. I am not with Dom, its 2017.... I am with.... I am with nobody. I am alone. Why am in the cubby? I start to panic, it is quite and dark....I start calling out to my wolfbrother and cry. I wake up.

I am in the cubby. My wolfbrother is staying over, he hates me. That is why I am in the cubby. He hates me because he loves me. I feel stupid for crying out to him and saying that I love him, he could have heard me and he would be mad at me even more. I toss and turn and notice I have a Soshomaru figurine in my hand.
Again it is supposed to be dark, but I can see as if the lights are on. The figure reminds me of how humans are so cruel, that I am alone. I start to break down. This is when my wolfbrother comes over. Although I bought him new PJs, he was wearing his old ones with no shirt and his long hair. He came over and cuddle with me. I ask out of confusion and surprise "What are you doing?". He replies "I love you, but I can't, but I will, so I won't, don't you see?". My wolbrother puts his forehead to mine and says "I love you, you are mine and will always be until I don't want you around?" and kisses me. He then exposes his crotch and shoves my face down there. I tell him that I genuinely love him, we don't have to have sex. He looks at me an says "It is not a problem, only if you want to I will". Without my getting a word edgewise he begins to skullfuck me, shoving his member in my mouth and forcing me to sodomize him. I get a brief moment and say "No, not like this. I love you", my wolfbrother replies "You have to because I love you, but I will never LOVE YOU because you can't". Half-way through this my wolfbrother pulls out and blows his load on my clothes. I think "what a waste, that is the best part", and my wolbrother seems to have heard that. He then pulls his head toward to me meeting eye to eye and says "I shouldn't have done that. I been with many beings. I may have given you something". I tell him "I love you and we will work it out. We always do". My wolfbrother looks at me and says "Ok lets fuck now. I shouldn't, but I want to, but I can't but I will, so i won't". I reply if it will satisfy your conscious, just dry hump me. He starts to do so and I say "No matter what I will always love you completely. That is why it is okay". He looks at me again and says "Either take you clothes off or put new ones on. I just showered".  I take them off an I am embarrassed. My wolfbrother looks deeply into my eyes and says "I love You". I realize that it is not true.... none of this is by our choice. They made me love you, my wolfbrother is soooooo cruel, how is any of this love awake or here? Why did they make me want to take care of you. This has happened before. The smell. He is the closest they got, the original, the one that works. However I choose this because even though they made me, I do love him. He starts to make out with me and we make love....I think we are making love or is it just a biological need? I love him. Yet he does not love me?

I wake up in the cubby. I realize something really bad has happened....this is not right. I can still feel and smell him on me. I lay there for a few minutes. Again I am aware I can see everything, but it should be dark.

Incident 2
This continues directly for Incident 1, but is classified desperately because my aunt can verify what happens.
I wake up in the cubby trying to process the strange romantic involvement with my wolfbrother. Was it real? It is dark, but I can see clearly. My canine friend is crying so I step out into the hall and check. I then go to my aunt's room and she says there is something in the bathroom. I see a brown mantis walking out of the bathroom. Before anything can happen I say "No you don't. You will stay in this perspective that I see". It seems upset that it cannot manifest as it wanted. I pick it up and show my aunt and ask "Is this the thing that keeps bothering you?"...she become hysterical and say "Yes. take IT away!!!". I walk on over to the bathroom and find a glass bowl and put it over its head. I notice that the chitin is off, and is a metallic sheen and remind me of armor. I turn on the water and puts its head under and say "How do you like this when you interrogate huh. Not so insightful now?". I then power up the bowl and shake the mantis back and forth saying "Oh lets scan your brain and see how it works. Lets see how much you can take. Any of this sound familiar to you yet?". After a few minutes it goes limp. O place it on a silver triangle which encapsulates in cellophane like resin. I bring it to show my wolfbrother, but he is already conversing with another me. Another me take it and starts to examine it instead of giving it to my wolfbrother. My wolfbrother begin yelling at all of us saying "You are not allowed. You are supposed to OBEY ME. You are not supposed to know how to do that!" A fourth version of me shows up and walks up to my wofbrother and says "You need to stop doing this. We are companions. I do not need titles, and there is nothing you can offer me what I already don't have. All you do is take and take." My wolfbrother is upset and says "OBEY ME NOW!!!" That version of me says "No. You are my soulmate and my twinflame. These aspects of yours are out of control and not your fault. We work together as one, side by side." He hugs my wolfbrother and things seem to be better. This assertive version of me look to the rest of us an says. "You will remember. Do not lose sight of him. We will re-establish. No matter what always love Wolfbrother."

Incident 3
I wake up again in the cubby. I am aware of what just happened the past couple of times. Keep waking up in this cubby. I should be on the otherside with wolfbrother. I know he raped me and that there was a mantis in my aunt's room. My mouth is dry and tingly. I look over to make sure my wolfbrother is really here. I look over and instantly get the feeling "Wrong Wolfbrother. Wrong You. Wrong Room. Major mix-up". I get scared and run to check on my aunt, she is asleep in her bathroom on the chair naked. Something is wrong. How did she get in her I think and I see how. The tile in the bathroom has been moved. There is a tunnel and there are ant sized grey walking along. This tunnel leads under the house and to my bathroom as well. They stop and look up. I hear in my head "HE KNOWS. HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE A SLEEP!" They panic. I quickly run to the other room to tell my wolfbrother, but he is already awake talking to another version of himself all dressed in white. He tells the other version of himself "Make sure all of them are completely bonded to you. We can't afford to lose any of them." I start to back away, but regular wolfbrother starts to use his scent on me. He tells me that he loves my and I will submit. Other wolfbrother says "You are all my property and I will do with you as I wish. You have no idea how much you are worth and what you are truly capable of. You are mine and mine alone!". I reply "You are not really my wolfbrother". The other wolfbrother says "You know what is going on and you know who I am?".

I wake up for reals this time. My Wolfbrother awoke and went to the bathroom and my aunt begins to bang on the wall. I am shaken and I go see her. She tells me that a brown bug came into her room the size of a person with long arms. I asked her what type of an insect, she says it was an ant, but the other ones...and I asked you mean a mantis like from kung fu panda and she said yes. I begin to go over everything and write stuff down. I try to tell my wolfbrother and he seems not to care. He just says..."yeah. something happened. Will take about it or won't, but you will tell me". I am bothered by my aunt and his cryptic response.





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