Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Glutton for Punishment

Date: 2/7/2017
Type: CE4, Dream
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Time of Incidents: 9:00am-12:00 pm
Attempted Time of Sleep:12:30am (Me)/11:00pm (aunt)/Guest 11:30pm/11:30pm (Wolfbrotehr)
State of Mind Before: Heartbroken, Very Depressed (Me)/ Depressed, In Pain (Aunt)/????(Wolfbrother)
State of Mind After: Even More Depressed, Very Sad (Me)/ Depressed, In Pain (Aunt)/????(Wolfbrother)
Odd occurrences before: Third-Eye Light, Issues with Wolfbrother
Odd occurrences after: Extreme Groginess, Knee Pain


I must be stupid, although I made sure to close my self off to my wolfbrother....I still care. As with my mother I cannot fault the mentally ill....I will not condemn them for their hurtful actions, but neither will I accept there benign actions either. In his state both are illusions, and at this point I only care for what was. I went to see him on Saturday because I was concerned, he did not answer....but when  I got home he called me to pick him up. I let him know that I drove there and back, and if he wanted to I would get him on Monday. He agreed and that is what I did with some difficulties.

Although I did agree, he is currently spending time. He is behaving in his unusual manner, which is stressful.
However, I deserve no better....so I proceed. I digress....emotional moment.

So as we are going to sleep I am having trouble because 1) a female voice called out my name, 2) there was glowing lights when i closed my eyes...mostly violet and purple, and some green. Finally out of sadness of the situation I feel asleep and had a few dreams. These dreams were non-sensical as they were in regards to my mother, grandmothers, tuna sandwiches, and my wolfbrother. I think there was a comparison to my mother about him, and that he is hurting me despite the fact I care for him. In the morning i attended to my duties and saw my other guest off and went back to bed.

This where it gets weird because as I am falling asleep there is a weird hum and I am snapped paralyzed and then I wake up. I wake up in a doctors office, and my wolfbrother and I are in a room. He is sitting in a padded dentist chair and strapped. Their is a female nurse in purple, light tan skin and black hair sitting down writing information. There is another female nurse in white assisting the doctor examing my wolfbrother. He is also in white stocky guy, balding light brown greying hair and glasses.There is also some thing standing in the doorway observing. I look around again and ask "Where am I?". The nurse in purple says "Wow, you are awake. That shouldn't be possible. Do you know where you are?". I say "I just feel very tired, my aunt has been sick and I am very worried about "Wolfbrother"." I look and motion to them. She says "Well good thing for both of you, we found you. You are a hard person to find "call me be name"." I look at what she is writing down and I look to what they are injecting "Wolfbrother" with. "Thorazine? What is Thorazine? Why are you giving him that?", I ask out of confusion. She looks to the thing in the doorway "You are right, he is different. This won't hurt a bit. Just stay still",  she says as the thing in the doorway comes toward me. I can't move or get up, I begin to yell as it touches me "Get off. Get off me. Don't touch me!" My wolfbrother looks at me blankly and says "It is alright "calls me by my name", just be yourself". I struggle and my focus shifts and I am laying down but still stuck in between. I calm down and focus, and open my mouth....I yell out for my wolfbrother. He says it is "Ok" nothing else.....I wake up and turn away crying and fall back to sleep.

I looked up Thorazine, as I had no idea what it was. It seems it does have some meaning concerning my wolfbrother's issues.

  

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