Date: 8/30/2024
Type: Regression Session
Location: La Canada/Flintridge, CA, 91011
Attempted Time of Sleep: N/A
State of Mind Before: Tired
State of Mind After: Bothered,Tired
Odd occurrences before: Wolfbrother wouldn't let me sleep
Odd occurrences after: Sore and Upset from Paternal Parent memory
This regression session was in hope to try to uncover missing memories from the time I was kidnapped by my father and taken out of state. Recently this month I have a CPTSD reaction to an "Alien Dream", but there was some other mental hints that I should be looking for information in another area, one which I believe is this area of missing time. I was also hoping to see if I could get a diagnosis for the CPTSD.
My goal was to focus on the most recent event. However it was decided to explore my first abduction/contact. We discussed what I intended and gave her some of the back ground information for what I intended to go over.:
When I was around 4-5, my mother get pnemonia and is hospitalized for two months. My maternal family is watching us, staying with my aunts and grandparents. However my EVIL Aunt Alma (my she burn in the worst pain for eternity both physically and mentally) contacted my paternal parent and complianed that we were his children and that they shouldn't be burdened with the responsibility taking care of us. Eventually he arrived and picked us up. Within a couple of weeks his grandmother, my great-grandmother in New Mexico passed away. I recallpacking my things up as we are going on a "trip" we left the state (kidnapping at this point since he wasn't allowed to do this). During this time I recall fireworks following us, red and green in the sky. I know we arrived at the reservation, where I met my cousins and aunties. I recall being told to watch my brother. My cousins showed me around the reservation. My Aunt Mercy was there and told him he wasn't supposed to have us there and he would be in trouble. We were at the reservation for two days, and I beleived the funeral and burial was on the property. At some point we stayed with Auntie who taught me how to make Indian Fried bread.
I know we visted the Alamo and were in Texas, I recall seeing the canals there. We were headed to Sweetwater, his father's home town. Carol, his ex-wife and girlfriend were arguing about us. He was in trouble. It was decided it would be best to leave the kids and just head east. That is when he left us in the park for six hours. I was told just to watch my brother and wait. As the sunset they eventually came back, he was upset, and told us to get in the car.
What happened instead.....
My therapist thought we should start with the first abduction... and see if it would lead somewhere. I did have one regression therapy regarding the "Galactic Federation" incident, and I did fall into a state...but I just got... the purple haze and RED Crystalline triangle.
I was walked through and prepared to relax and put myself at the time this all happened. She had me describe the house, how I felt, and what was going on. My self at that time did not want to be there. I wanted to go home. My paternal parent was not on the best terms with me and really didn't want me there either. Concentrating and reliving this was not something I was prepared for. I dealt with this trauma and buried it, letting the deep wound scab over.......
See the thing is my mother divorced him when I was three. The courts at that time ordered visitation, and as my young brother was too young....it was just me for a while. My paternal parent didn't like me as he claimed I was not "his" and he tried to kill me by throwing me against the wall a few times as an infant. The Court in its wisdom didn't care about that fact.... so I am aware of what is going on. I don't know if he also took my out of spite toward my mom. I knew I wasn't wanted and this was not a good place. I want to go home. It was a friday, we had Chinese food for dinner, came home watched TV and I was order to go to bed in an empty room with a sheet and a pillow to sleep on the floor. I cried myself to sleep. At this point I recall two beings outside in the backyard taking soil sample next to a large silver oil tanker. After a while something, another being is watching me and tries to come in through the window. I run to the bathroom.....lights in that room....lock the doors....and know the lights in their room. The next memory I have is that my paternal parent kicks in the door and yells at me for locking both doors.
New information....
Apparently while in the bathroom I hear Carol scream. As I pass out noting that the bathroom gets bright.... apparently now I am huddle in a curved corner in a bright place. Their are voices I can't really make out. The two "old men" from outside are inside and seem upset. The grey that came in I am referring him as Mr. Ballonhead, as he has a huge white head with dark circles for eyes. The other greys in the jumpsuits are to me old men. I also say they have "kermit" hands. I ams cared and keep thinking "I don't know. I don't understand/ I don't want to be here. I wanna go home". Mr. Balloonhead keeps motioning me to come, but I am huddled in the corner. Apparently he also touched me and I felt a prick between my tumb and finger on my right hand as it hurts. I am to scarred to move. Again they old men are upset. I remember it smelling warm in here.....like if something had a lot of light. The next memory is them carrying me back in the house...going through the backdoor and into my room and placing me back in the bathroom. One had my left leg and the other carried me by my right arm.
When I wake up...I feel groggy and my hand is sore from where I got pricked. I don't know personally if this was a success as one I was tried and two...I was resisting a bit....as my paternal parent's treatment of me was overriding the experience. I just want to go home.
Follow Up
I did email my therapist after words because of some additional things that came up......
"Thank you again for listening to me today and our session. It was helpful as in helping realize some things. I just wanted to let you know of some things after and during the session I noticed.
During the Session as you were putting me under (second time doing this with you)...I began seeing a purple light in my mind's eye. A lot of it was a nebulous glowing purple cloud like before...but with some odd flashes in structure. At one point this energy field changed from an ethereal wispy cloud to a fractal crystal structure with many facets to a lattice structure. At times a pink light was trying to enter and change the mental image. I was doing my best to disable my safety protocols and follow along with your instructions to relax and enter a deeper state. Since they tell me to "Sleep/Go to Bed" I often fight that urge, plus sense I am very tense.... it is hard for me to relax.....but I can meditate and try to enter a state of being serene and aware. The odd thing was at the point where you began the final countdown to enter a deep sleep there was a high-pitched tone in my left ear reminiscent before I usually get paralyzed. The tone/pitch was there for three counts and they suddenly just ended as I was trying to ignore it. I do have a theory about the purple energy, but I need to examine that further.
The other thing as I said I was bothered remembering/reliving that incident. I know the technique said I would be "alright" but I don't feel that way. During the session I felt the sting of where the being touched me which was new.... but I was also holding back some awful feelings just from being with my paternal parent and that environment. I really didn't like putting myself near him again and being at that place.... and it wasn't cause of the alien incident. I sadly remember how I felt again....which I try to bury so hard and distance myself from it. On the way home a memory did come as my head hurt and back.... when he kicked the door opened... not only did he yell at me... but he slapped me side the head really hard where I hit my head on the sink on the left side and hit me on the back telling me to get out of there and go back to the room. I ran through his room and around to the hall and into the room (I didn't think to unlock the bathroom door) and hid under the blanket. I passed out again and he came to see if I wanted breakfast cause he had to go to work. He apologized for hit me and checked my head, worried about there being a bruise. I had Trix and watched some cartoons, I remember it was Bugs Bunny and Runner. He took me to work at Taco Bell for his shift where I was to sit in the back and be quiet. I feel asleep under one of the kitchen tables. Sunday morning would be the time I checked the backyard to look for the holes and see if things were there.
My whole body this afternoon when I got home felt really numb and bruised, I forgot he hit me pretty hard. Justing putting myself back there was not a very good feeling. I am trying to rebury it and note the event....I know he was horrible with me...I just guess open that wound I wasn't too prepared for that.
Just wanted to let you know of the tone, purple light during our regression.... and more of the memory that resurfaced."
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